Sensitive, sensible solutions

What Women Ask about Sex

August 15, 2011 Melanie No Comments

By Melanie Davis, PhD, CSE

One of my favorite activities as an educator is to host “Ask the Expert” sessions. During these programs, I collect questions that adults have written anonymously on index cards. I’d like to share some of the questions I was asked at a recent event attended by adult women.

  • We tried a few things a couple of weeks ago that made my back and neck hurt. I feel bad for my husband. Can you help?
  • Can herpes be spread when sores aren’t present?
  • Can using a vibrator a few times a week numb or kill the sensitivity in the clitoris?
  • Can men have an orgasm and not ejaculate?
  • Does ejaculation occur through the anus for men and women after orgasm?
  • Is it recommended to use librication at any age to avoid damage to the vaginal walls?
  • I’m in my mid-40’s and date older men. Why do I notice their testicles sagging lower and lower as they age?
  • If your period started early, will menopause start early? Does it matter?
  • What’s the risk if you have anal sex followed by vaginal intercourse?
  • What’s the name for when a woman wears a strap-on penis and penetrates a male partner?
  • If you feel uninterested in sex but don’t want to use arousal gels or toys to get in the mood, what can you do to feel sexual?
  • Is it normal for a vulva to get darker as time goes by?
  • What if you have a guy who doesn’t want you to use sex toys because he’s insecure?
  • What causes men to lose sexual desire, other than hormonal changes?
  • Can I learn how to ejaculate?
  • Sometimes my partner loses his erection during sex. Why?
  • Two older partners have need it to grip my muscles tighter to hold them inside me. Is this caused by age?
  • How can I prevent a huge penis from hurting my insides?
  • How long can a guy wear a penis ring before it affects his desire?

As you can see, women are most curious about topics that affect them personally, and yet I have answered them in some form when speaking to other audiences. In other words, it’s normal to have questions about even the most basic topics.  I will answer these questions in separate posts, and you’re welcome to submit your own questions. Or, you can visit me or our sex therapist or physician for assessment and in-depth consultation.






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